My head is spinning. Not only were there enough great sporting events this weekend to drown the masses in uselessly over-analyzed sports commentary, but none of it had to with baseball! Oh my soul, rejoice!
On top of that, we had a rare sighting of a weekend's most joyous occasion: the Sunday afternoon menage-a-trois! Not the gross kind that will make you popular with guys who wear half-buttoned dress shirts, no undershirt and necklaces, the wonderful sports kind that keeps your trigger finger firing on the "Previous Channel" button on your TV remote.
I was so excited I was standing and flipping back and forth between the NBA Playoffs (Oklahoma City Thunder v. Memphis Grizzlies Game 7) and the final round of the PGA Tour's Player's Championship at TPC Sawgrass. It was me, the NBA Playoffs and the final round of a PGA Major. The three of us were in heaven.
Factor in the NHL Western Conference Finals starting that night and you could say it was the NBA in OKC, the NHL, and the PGA at TPC won by K.J. all watched by AJ in Northern VA!
So now you know why my head is spinning.
I'll give you a thought or two about each to keep things moving.
NBA Playoffs
First of all, much respect is due to the Memphis Grizzlies. Largely for being a team from the city of Memphis, named the Grizzlies, and still existing as a franchise in 2011. Shouldn't they have folded years ago? Are there two things people care less about than the city of Memphis and Grizzly Bears as a sport's mascot? It sounds like a little league team with players who have nicknames like Chubbs, Rinky-Dink and Freckles.
But as sure you know my morning coffee will get two Splenda and two hazelnut creamers (I like to get rid of as much of the coffee taste as possible), you had to know OKC was going to send Zach Randolph, his lethal jab-step jumper, and the Grizz home to a much deserved warm welcome in Memphis. Which is in, of course, Tennessee. Just an enormous basketball state, known for legends like...Bruce Pearl and a women's college basketball team.
Second thought- This Chicago/Miami series is going to be incredible. Don't discount the Heat because of the final score, they were in that game halfway through the 3rd quarter when the the wheels fell off. Chicago stole the momentum and everything, I mean everything, went their way. Luol Deng shot a three-pointer from the corner that hit every part of the rim, bounced out of the basket, took a left turn, made a three-quarters rotation and swan dove back through the hoop it had previously left. That won't happen four games in a row. I can't wait to watch the rest of this series.
Also, you may send me personal checks or cash for telling you that the Spurs, Lakers and Celtics would all be out of the Playoffs by this round. You're welcome!
NHL Playoffs
Two real quick thoughts here: If the Tampa Bay Lightening don't win the Stanley Cup my flabber will officially be ghasted. They came back from being down 3 games to 1 and smoked the Penguins, demolished the Capitals, and they walloped Boston in game one 5-2. The Lightening sure are...streaking! Give me my Pulitzer now please.
Second thought- I wish I cared more about the San Jose Sharks or the Vancouver Canucks. Shouldn't the Canucks beat them by eight goals every game based on the laws of hockey? How can a team from San Jose, named after a predator in the ocean, beat a team from Canada named after Canada in a sport most loved by Canadians played on frozen water?! If the Canucks don't sweep then I'm losing what little respect I had for Canadians to begin with. That is to say, nothing will change.
The Players Championship
This is where I lose most of you, but bear with me for two minutes. Just because Tiger withdrew on Thursday after playing 9 holes because his knee was grinding like the gears in a 1977 Dodge Dart doesn't mean this tournament wasn't exciting.
There was another Sunday afternoon collapse by an Irishman (this time Graeme McDowell not Rory McIlroy), another playoff which means we got to see the iconic 17th again, and a bone-headed mistake by a veteran that gave my boy K.J. Choi his first Major Championship. A much deserved championship for a guy who seems to always finish in the top 10 but never seems to win.
Weekends without the NFL just don't get much better than that! Unless, of course, the Lakers could come back and get swept again by the Heat, then the Celtics, and then again by the Bulls. Who wouldn't love that?
In the end, it was a verifiable alphabet soup of sporting events and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. Savor these times folks. Pretty soon these playoffs will be over and I'm going to have to blog about the pros and cons of Thor, Green Lantern, X-Men: First Class and Captain America and which film really captured the character true to the original comic books.
Actually...that sounds like fun. I'll get started now!
Showing posts with label NHL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NHL. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Two Lists of Three
I'm back after my month-long hiatus for the atrocity that was my previous blog post. If ever there was a year to ignore all the advice I gave you about the NCAA Tournament, it was this year. I feel I have paid my dues, and punished myself for my previous mis-deeds, and now I am back. And just in time too.
We only have a few weeks left of meaningful sports before the black hole of major league baseball is all that is left to "entertain" us for the summer. I don't mean to startle you here, but once the NBA and NHL playoffs end baseball is all we'll have until the NFL labor negotiation dispute is settled. At least last year we had the World Cup to take our minds off of things. Why couldn't the World Cup have been played this year, during the lockout? That's just more proof that soccer hates America.
I figure I should squeeze every last drop out of these playoffs because they are shaping up to be more exciting than a dinner party with Sigfried and Roy.
The NBA Playoffs are filled with story lines. You have the superstars each grasping for a title and a shot at immortality. Regular stars grasping for the one moment, one game, that will change how they're remembered forever. And the Knicks bench slowly finding out that they will actually have to contribute because running a 5-on-1 with Carmelo against the Celtics doesn't work (see: LeBron, 2010).
Plus you have the NHL playoffs with all of their incredible story lines and star players. You know them...Alex Ovechkin and....um...the other Russian guy. That one guy from Canada and those two brothers who play for a team either in the Eastern Conference or the Western Conference, I can't remember which.
Point is, the Washington Capitals are looking for penance from their previous years playoff catastrophes and I'm here to give it to them.
For the sake of time, and creativity, I'll give you three things to watch for in each of these playoffs. Don't worry, the three things won't be hyper-specific like "Kobe's left knee, Chris Bosh's PER, and Amare's back spasms". They would have been, but my editor advised me not too.
Of course, by "editor" I mean the high school student I convinced to read my blogs and say nice things to me in exchange for "course credit" and something I call "not being punched".
Here are three things to watch for in the NBA Playoffs:
1. The Second Round in the East - If you're an American you watch sports for one of two reasons 1) to watch the best athletes in the world play, or 2) because you want your husband/boyfriend to like you and think you're into what they're into so you suffer through games you care nothing about and sometimes say something like, "So, what happens if your team loses?". Which gives the male in this situation an opportunity to lay out every possible playoffs scenario imaginable while you get 10-20 minutes of free-time to check Facebook on your phone.
All that to say, if you like watching superstars do things that are superstar-ish, you need to watch the second round of the NBA Playoffs in the Eastern Conference. If the games go according to plan, you have the potential match-up for the Chicago Bulls (Rose, Boozer, Noah) to play the Orlando Magic (Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, Jason Richardson and the corpses of Hedo Turkoglu and Gilbert Arenas).
Not to mention the Celtics (Garnett, Peirce, Allen, Rondo,Perkins) battling the Heat (and those three idiots we're sick of). More importantly, however, is that these series will be so great because the teams genuinely hate each other.
Derrick Rose wants nothing other to stand over the defeated bodies of LeBron, Wade, Howard, and Garnett and sneer at them in victory while setting his sights on the Lakers in the West. Garnett will actually bite someone in the throat, and I'm almost positive LeBron will try to get Paul Pierce to collaborate on a rap album with him (we all know LeBron doesn't quite have the killer instinct we thought he did).
Point is- watch these games. They won't disappoint.
2. The Oklahoma City Thunder - There is a group of guys in the West who are all in their early 20s, genuinely like each other, care about winning and playing basketball instead of personal glory and just traded for a dominate defensive center who makes other teams think twice before driving the lane. We saw last year when the Thunder played the Lakers that they didn't have the big men to keep up with Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum. If memory serves me right, Kendrick Perkins has done a fair job handling those two in the playoffs before, and I think he's primed to do it again.
The Thunder are my pick to come out of the West. Don't bet on it, though, cause that'd be foolish. We all remember my March Madness debacle, don't we?
3. Old Teams Dying Fast - What do the San Antonio Spurs, Boston Celtics, and Los Angeles Lakers all have in common? None of them will be playing the Finals this year. Usually I'd say that because of personal bias, but this year we've seen these teams die off faster than the cast of Hamlet (that's an educational joke, you may have to look it up). The Spurs will be lucky to beat the Grizzlies in Round 1, the Celtics might not even make it past the Heat in Round 2, and if the Lakers can give away a home game to the New Orleans Hornets I'm not sure they can last through the Western Conference Finals. Or maybe I'm just hoping they can't.
Now onto hockey (read, Capitals) and three things you need to keep an eye out for.
1. No Quit in 'em - The Caps are showing something they didn't show in previous years- the "No Quit" element. I'm sure after going down 0-3 to the Rangers in Game 4 many fans turned off the TV. The Caps didn't and they ended up rallying back to win in double overtime. That's what champions do. Champions also close out series, so we'll see how they handle Game 5, but they played like they're supposed to win and that kind of swagger means the world in playoffs.
2. Best Player? - It's not Ovechkin, although he is vital to our success. I'd keep an eye on Alexander Semin and Michal Neuvirth the goal keeper. Mike Knuble is also a personal favorite, but just because his last name is a hoot to say. Knuble.
3. The Capitals - Just watch the Caps. D.C. is as much of a football town as Compton is a drive-by shooting town, but that doesn't mean the Capitals don't deserve our attention and respect. They have the best shot of bringing a title to Washington out of any of our teams have since the Joe Gibbs era. Plus, you don't want to be the guy who jumps on the bandwagon too late do you? Get on now while there is plenty of room. I saved a seat for you next to Ovi's gap tooth and Bruce Boudreau's breakfast plate of waffles and uncooked bacon.
And a final note to anyone from New York: Madison Square Garden does suck. It's the Roman Pantheon of stadiums. Everyone gets all excited to go there and take pictures, but when its all said and done its just a crumbled facade that was once something to be admired. Kind of like Derek Jeter.
See you next week!
We only have a few weeks left of meaningful sports before the black hole of major league baseball is all that is left to "entertain" us for the summer. I don't mean to startle you here, but once the NBA and NHL playoffs end baseball is all we'll have until the NFL labor negotiation dispute is settled. At least last year we had the World Cup to take our minds off of things. Why couldn't the World Cup have been played this year, during the lockout? That's just more proof that soccer hates America.
I figure I should squeeze every last drop out of these playoffs because they are shaping up to be more exciting than a dinner party with Sigfried and Roy.
The NBA Playoffs are filled with story lines. You have the superstars each grasping for a title and a shot at immortality. Regular stars grasping for the one moment, one game, that will change how they're remembered forever. And the Knicks bench slowly finding out that they will actually have to contribute because running a 5-on-1 with Carmelo against the Celtics doesn't work (see: LeBron, 2010).
Plus you have the NHL playoffs with all of their incredible story lines and star players. You know them...Alex Ovechkin and....um...the other Russian guy. That one guy from Canada and those two brothers who play for a team either in the Eastern Conference or the Western Conference, I can't remember which.
Point is, the Washington Capitals are looking for penance from their previous years playoff catastrophes and I'm here to give it to them.
For the sake of time, and creativity, I'll give you three things to watch for in each of these playoffs. Don't worry, the three things won't be hyper-specific like "Kobe's left knee, Chris Bosh's PER, and Amare's back spasms". They would have been, but my editor advised me not too.
Of course, by "editor" I mean the high school student I convinced to read my blogs and say nice things to me in exchange for "course credit" and something I call "not being punched".
Here are three things to watch for in the NBA Playoffs:
1. The Second Round in the East - If you're an American you watch sports for one of two reasons 1) to watch the best athletes in the world play, or 2) because you want your husband/boyfriend to like you and think you're into what they're into so you suffer through games you care nothing about and sometimes say something like, "So, what happens if your team loses?". Which gives the male in this situation an opportunity to lay out every possible playoffs scenario imaginable while you get 10-20 minutes of free-time to check Facebook on your phone.
All that to say, if you like watching superstars do things that are superstar-ish, you need to watch the second round of the NBA Playoffs in the Eastern Conference. If the games go according to plan, you have the potential match-up for the Chicago Bulls (Rose, Boozer, Noah) to play the Orlando Magic (Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, Jason Richardson and the corpses of Hedo Turkoglu and Gilbert Arenas).
Not to mention the Celtics (Garnett, Peirce, Allen, Rondo,
Derrick Rose wants nothing other to stand over the defeated bodies of LeBron, Wade, Howard, and Garnett and sneer at them in victory while setting his sights on the Lakers in the West. Garnett will actually bite someone in the throat, and I'm almost positive LeBron will try to get Paul Pierce to collaborate on a rap album with him (we all know LeBron doesn't quite have the killer instinct we thought he did).
Point is- watch these games. They won't disappoint.
2. The Oklahoma City Thunder - There is a group of guys in the West who are all in their early 20s, genuinely like each other, care about winning and playing basketball instead of personal glory and just traded for a dominate defensive center who makes other teams think twice before driving the lane. We saw last year when the Thunder played the Lakers that they didn't have the big men to keep up with Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum. If memory serves me right, Kendrick Perkins has done a fair job handling those two in the playoffs before, and I think he's primed to do it again.
The Thunder are my pick to come out of the West. Don't bet on it, though, cause that'd be foolish. We all remember my March Madness debacle, don't we?
3. Old Teams Dying Fast - What do the San Antonio Spurs, Boston Celtics, and Los Angeles Lakers all have in common? None of them will be playing the Finals this year. Usually I'd say that because of personal bias, but this year we've seen these teams die off faster than the cast of Hamlet (that's an educational joke, you may have to look it up). The Spurs will be lucky to beat the Grizzlies in Round 1, the Celtics might not even make it past the Heat in Round 2, and if the Lakers can give away a home game to the New Orleans Hornets I'm not sure they can last through the Western Conference Finals. Or maybe I'm just hoping they can't.
Now onto hockey (read, Capitals) and three things you need to keep an eye out for.
1. No Quit in 'em - The Caps are showing something they didn't show in previous years- the "No Quit" element. I'm sure after going down 0-3 to the Rangers in Game 4 many fans turned off the TV. The Caps didn't and they ended up rallying back to win in double overtime. That's what champions do. Champions also close out series, so we'll see how they handle Game 5, but they played like they're supposed to win and that kind of swagger means the world in playoffs.
2. Best Player? - It's not Ovechkin, although he is vital to our success. I'd keep an eye on Alexander Semin and Michal Neuvirth the goal keeper. Mike Knuble is also a personal favorite, but just because his last name is a hoot to say. Knuble.
3. The Capitals - Just watch the Caps. D.C. is as much of a football town as Compton is a drive-by shooting town, but that doesn't mean the Capitals don't deserve our attention and respect. They have the best shot of bringing a title to Washington out of any of our teams have since the Joe Gibbs era. Plus, you don't want to be the guy who jumps on the bandwagon too late do you? Get on now while there is plenty of room. I saved a seat for you next to Ovi's gap tooth and Bruce Boudreau's breakfast plate of waffles and uncooked bacon.
And a final note to anyone from New York: Madison Square Garden does suck. It's the Roman Pantheon of stadiums. Everyone gets all excited to go there and take pictures, but when its all said and done its just a crumbled facade that was once something to be admired. Kind of like Derek Jeter.
See you next week!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
3 Things: Gilbert, NHL, and DC Fans
I understand that I'm about as multi-dimensional as Flat Stanley. I write about football or fantasy football. Occasionally I'll mention a TV show no one is watching. So I'm gonna make like a well structured portfolio and diversify myself.
There are three things I'd like to bring to the table this morning. Number one is actually number zero. Rather, Agent Zero.
Agent Zero- Gilbert Arenas, or, as you know him, that homeless bearded guy who points guns at everyone, is struggling to stay out of the media's harsh and imposing glare. Arenas gets a bad rap. In fact, a terrible rap. And rightfully so. He lacks what we call "common sense". He goes about each day like one of us would. We make jokes with our friends, we do stupid stuff, we make ridiculous claims and its all good because nobody actually cares what we do on a daily basis.
Gil, however, fails to understand that every action he takes has an incredible impact because he represents a professional basketball team, a major sports city and himself. When he was in trouble for bringing guns into the locker room, he clearly failed to see what the issue was. The locker room is his place of work. I don't get to bring a glock into my office and keep it in my desk. I keep it taped to the bottom of my chair. Duh. No, just kidding. I'm not a self-involved nincompoop.
When Gil says something like, "I lost all feeling a long time ago. Basketball is basketball..." or when his press day photos through the years look like this, or even better, like this, you have to wonder what is going on with this guy and why he is so far out of touch with reality. I bet he still thinks Pluto is a planet.
He even said he wants to help John Wall get ready to take over the team so he (Gil) can move on. Has anyone wanted to be a part of anything less, ever? Maybe Dwayne Johnson when he filmed The Tooth Fairy.
Now Gil is faking injuries to help teammates get more playing time. By the way, I think this is a great gesture, but a moronic move! You are a professional athlete. Being paid millions of dollars to play basketball. You don't get to call in sick. Each day I worry more and more that Gilbert will show up with a Dennis Rodman hair-do and start thanking his therapist for helping him win a championship.
Number 2.
The NHL- I am happy to admit right now that I am a casual Washington Capitals fan. They are my team in hockey, and I will root for them relentlessly, but I will not know every player on the team. In fact, outside of the Capitals I don't claim to know a ton about hockey. But here is what I do know.
There are two great players in hockey (a generalization, but go with it). The first is Capital's All-Star Alexander Ovechkin, the Russian monster who everyone claims is the best player in the league. The second is the ugly hamster looking Canuck, Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Two things you need to know:
1) There is a rivalry between the Penguins and the Capitals due to many years of facing each other in the playoffs.
2) Crosby has a Stanley Cup. Ovechkin does not.
2a) The Stanley Cup is the trophy you win when you win the Super Bowl in hockey (just appealing to my reader's who don't know hockey).
The NHL is not a terribly mainstream sport in America, even though its popularity is growing. So, in order to help everybody understand the biggest rivalry between the biggest players in hockey I've come up with this comparison.
Alexander Ovechkin is LeBron James. Sidney Crosby is Kobe Bryant. This works because I hate Kobe, and I also think LeBron is ugly.
Ovie wins in the regular season. Last year the Capitals won the President's Trophy, the award given the team with the best regular season record. Ovie wins Hart Trophies, the award given the MVP of the league (he won it in 2008 and 2009). Ovie leads the league in scoring, and points, and all these hockey things I don't care to understand fully.
Ovie also flames out in the playoffs. He doesn't get it done, he doesn't perform. He's forced to carry his team.
You know who else won back-to-back MVPs and consistently wins the regular season? Who also can't win in the playoffs? LeBron James.
On the other hand, Crosby wins championships. Thats what he does. He wins in the clutch, he wins in the playoffs, he wins in the Olympics. He's a winner. He makes the players around him better. Like Kobe does. Crosby isn't glamorous, in fact he's quite disgusting, but he is efficient.
The only good thing about hockey is the players sign ridiculously long contracts. Ovie's is for something like 13 years. I don't think I have worry about him taking his talents to the Florida Panthers anytime soon.
Number 3.
DC/Metro Area Fans- I was once proud to be a member of this group. A heartily dedicated group who stuck through things think and thin. Always remembering the glory days of old.
Now? A bunch of wishy-washy, non-commital, pansies who don't know how to believe in anything. They live life with a constantly negative outlook and can never accept the good things around them.
The Redskins have beaten two division rivals and one of the top ranked teams in the NFC yet Skins fans want to complain about how we suck and it won't last. You know what? Who cares if it doesn't last!? Who cares if we don't win another game? Enjoy our 3-2 record, enjoy being at the top of the NFC East, and support your team.
Or I will make you spend a long weekend with Jim Zorn and Gilbert Arenas.
Agent Zero- Gilbert Arenas, or, as you know him, that homeless bearded guy who points guns at everyone, is struggling to stay out of the media's harsh and imposing glare. Arenas gets a bad rap. In fact, a terrible rap. And rightfully so. He lacks what we call "common sense". He goes about each day like one of us would. We make jokes with our friends, we do stupid stuff, we make ridiculous claims and its all good because nobody actually cares what we do on a daily basis.
Gil, however, fails to understand that every action he takes has an incredible impact because he represents a professional basketball team, a major sports city and himself. When he was in trouble for bringing guns into the locker room, he clearly failed to see what the issue was. The locker room is his place of work. I don't get to bring a glock into my office and keep it in my desk. I keep it taped to the bottom of my chair. Duh. No, just kidding. I'm not a self-involved nincompoop.
When Gil says something like, "I lost all feeling a long time ago. Basketball is basketball..." or when his press day photos through the years look like this, or even better, like this, you have to wonder what is going on with this guy and why he is so far out of touch with reality. I bet he still thinks Pluto is a planet.
Now Gil is faking injuries to help teammates get more playing time. By the way, I think this is a great gesture, but a moronic move! You are a professional athlete. Being paid millions of dollars to play basketball. You don't get to call in sick. Each day I worry more and more that Gilbert will show up with a Dennis Rodman hair-do and start thanking his therapist for helping him win a championship.
Number 2.
The NHL- I am happy to admit right now that I am a casual Washington Capitals fan. They are my team in hockey, and I will root for them relentlessly, but I will not know every player on the team. In fact, outside of the Capitals I don't claim to know a ton about hockey. But here is what I do know.
There are two great players in hockey (a generalization, but go with it). The first is Capital's All-Star Alexander Ovechkin, the Russian monster who everyone claims is the best player in the league. The second is the ugly hamster looking Canuck, Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Two things you need to know:
1) There is a rivalry between the Penguins and the Capitals due to many years of facing each other in the playoffs.
2) Crosby has a Stanley Cup. Ovechkin does not.
2a) The Stanley Cup is the trophy you win when you win the Super Bowl in hockey (just appealing to my reader's who don't know hockey).
Alexander Ovechkin is LeBron James. Sidney Crosby is Kobe Bryant. This works because I hate Kobe, and I also think LeBron is ugly.
Ovie wins in the regular season. Last year the Capitals won the President's Trophy, the award given the team with the best regular season record. Ovie wins Hart Trophies, the award given the MVP of the league (he won it in 2008 and 2009). Ovie leads the league in scoring, and points, and all these hockey things I don't care to understand fully.
Ovie also flames out in the playoffs. He doesn't get it done, he doesn't perform. He's forced to carry his team.
You know who else won back-to-back MVPs and consistently wins the regular season? Who also can't win in the playoffs? LeBron James.
On the other hand, Crosby wins championships. Thats what he does. He wins in the clutch, he wins in the playoffs, he wins in the Olympics. He's a winner. He makes the players around him better. Like Kobe does. Crosby isn't glamorous, in fact he's quite disgusting, but he is efficient.
The only good thing about hockey is the players sign ridiculously long contracts. Ovie's is for something like 13 years. I don't think I have worry about him taking his talents to the Florida Panthers anytime soon.
Number 3.
DC/Metro Area Fans- I was once proud to be a member of this group. A heartily dedicated group who stuck through things think and thin. Always remembering the glory days of old.
Now? A bunch of wishy-washy, non-commital, pansies who don't know how to believe in anything. They live life with a constantly negative outlook and can never accept the good things around them.
Or I will make you spend a long weekend with Jim Zorn and Gilbert Arenas.
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