TOMS Shoes, Hipsters and Smoke Detectors

I'm sure you've heard of TOMS shoes. You know, the shoes that look like canvas and a pair is given away to a child in need whenever you buy one? (Although I'm wondering how a small child in Ethiopia is managing wearing the same pair of wedges I bought for my wife, but that's beside the point).

I'm a big fan of that company if for nothing else than it became popular for being a charitable organization by supporting and supplying children in need with pairs of shoes. We take for granted the 12-80 pairs of shoes in our closet.

I own a pair and my wife owns a few pairs and I suppose we'll purchase more in the future because they go to a good cause.

Don't worry, this isn't another righteous thinking blog. I'm going to make fun of hipsters, just be patient.

Anyway, last night, in my drunken stupor of sleep (not actually drunk, just using adjectives), somewhere between 10-15 minutes before my blaring smoke detector woke me up, I had this thought: Hipsters and the beneficiaries from TOMS shoes aren't so different...one group is just trying to be ironic.

Think about it. The children in need who receive these shoes are pretty similar to the super modern, hyper-cool, anti-whatever-you-say, stick-it-to-modern-thinking, mac-book-pro, consumer whores I call hipsters.

First, and most obvious, both groups wear TOMS shoes. Sure the kids wear the generic gray flats to match their school uniforms while we wear something called a "Vegan Wrap", which I always thought was a sandwich and not something you put your toes in. Then again, there's no telling what vegan will put their feet in. I know, I'm related to two of them.

They both wear jeans or pants that are two to four sizes too small. Some on purpose because they don't like the thought of being able to have children, others because its the one pair of jeans their family owns.

They both wear shirts that should have never been made. Some wear "2004 Carolina Panther's Super Bowl Champions" shirts because they're ironic, others because they received a box of them from some good natured Americans, and, hey, who ever doubted that Jake Delhomme could win a Super Bowl?

Often both groups will use a strand of rope or old twine as a belt, and fashion other useful items out of duct tape. One group because they don't have any money and struggle to afford basic hygiene, and the other group because they live in a third world country and are being oppressed.

To cap off any outfit, both grab whatever garbage is laying around and hang it from their neck or stick it through their ears or on a hat and call it "accessorizing". I'm no fashion guru, but I know enough to say that a'int right.

So it appears we're not so different after all. Think of that the next time you want to wear a Hawaiian shirt and sport coat to a club to stand out. There are poor children all over the world wearing the same thing and pretending to be 1985 Super Bowl winner Dan Marino.

Or when you want to wear a fedora and a cardigan while taking artsy worm's-eye view photos of people's feet. Keep in mind, there are tiny grandpa's all over the world doing the same thing.

They say history repeats itself, I say artsy hipster's are the bane of the existence of the modern-era man.

But what do I know?  I'm the guy who wakes up to a smoke detector instead of a regular alarm. So can you really trust me?