Friday, July 2, 2010

Misplaced Hatred

I'm not going to apologize for this. It needs to be said. Guys need to quit hating on the Twilight series. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh, I didn't realize AJ came out of the closet yet. Good for him."

But take a second and read that again, I didn't say guys need to watch/read/love/enjoy/dream about the Twilight series. They just need to quit hating.

As "Quarter Crescent" (or whatever moon cycle is reflected in the title of the most recent movie), was released this week my Facebook and Twitter accounts exploded with two types of posts:

Girls: OMG! Can't wait to see my hubby Edward (or Jacob) tonight! Eclipse is going to be (or was) amazing!!!!
Guys: Ugh. You guys know vampires don't exist right? And werewolves are so lame.

I know guys feel left out when all the women lustily gaze at a pale faced Brit and a mocha skinned 15 year old, but get over it. Or at least come up with a good reason to hate it.

Vampires don't exist? Neither do Jedis, Terminators, or the Moonraker gun. Werewolves are lame? Last time I checked werewolves are giant dogs who rip peoples faces off. What's lame about that? Am I missing something?

Perhaps you don't want to 'buy into the hype' of something so 'mainstream'. Whatever, you sicken me. Why don't you try stop wasting time 'not being mainstream' and start getting a job and contributing to society. (No, I'm not bitter).

Or perhaps you're just too cool to watch anything Sci-Fi. You love taking nature walks and eating granola, or you obsess over sports teams and watch the news. Regardless, you've created a world in which you can escape from reality and indulge in your guilty pleasure. Which is fine, even if you prefer watching Strasburg lose games cause he gets no run support from his team over Professor X and Magneto debating the ethics of mutant existence.

I think guys are upset girls finally have a geeky fantasy world to escape to. It was cool to be a Star Wars nerd or into super hero movies (Lord knows I qualify for both of those). Now, however, our wives/girlfriends/girl-friends can geek out into a Sci-Fi world of their own. Just like when we wished we could train to be a Jedi on Endor, girls these days want to escape to chase werewolves in.....Seattle? Whatever, I never said I fully understood them.

Let me be clear here. I don't particularly like the Twilight series (notice there are no Twilight pictures in this post). My wife does, as do 98% of the females I know. I watched the first two movies, they were fine. They had good moments and bad, just like every movie that isn't the Princess Bride. I just don't understand the incessant hatred from guys who love Blade, but think vampires are gay.

And while I'm on the topic of imaginary things, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows just released the trailer (Seen here) for the first installment of the final two movies. I got all excited inside. Let me guess....Harry Potter is lame too? HE CARRIES A STICK THAT WILL TAZE YOU!! I don't see you tazing me with a tree branch.

Look, if your girlfriend needs to get lost in the story of Edward, Jacob and Bella so she can take a break from everyday life, so be it. You don't have to be a hater.

Let's not forget that at the end of the first movie a guy gets ripped limb from limb and has the pieces of his body burned. C'mon, Braveheart wouldn't even be that cruel.

So I'll kindly ask you to keep your opinions to yourself and allow me to vocalize mine loudest until you agree with me.


Also, don't keep your opinions to yourself. I want to hear them.


  1. I am honored to be retweeted essentially on your blog. And I am one of those guys that *strongly dislikes* Twilight, but then again, I'm not a fan of much SciFi at all (I have never seen a Starwars movie...go ahead, bring out the firing squad).

    On a more serious note, I was having this conversation with my girlfriend and she was talking about how it is more of an emotional lusting and not so much physical. Essentially, it is porn for women. Not joking. They watch this because A) their husband/boyfriend/boy-friend can't "satisfy" them or B) because they want someone/thing to pursue them like that but they can't have it in real life. Maybe far-fetched but it is pretty scary how media and culture can manipulate us like this.

    BUT...if I had to be obsessed with Twilight and swoon over a 12 year old who plays a werewolf and has some weird grudge against a vampire I would definitely be on #teamjacob :)

  2. Excellent post.

    I was at the midnight showing of Eclipse this past Wednesday, early morning. I went with my girlfriend who is a huge fan of the series because she had no one to go with. Having seen the three movies now, this was the best out of them. If you get nothing else from it, there was this AWESOME fight scene between wolves and vampires that made the movie not too bad. It was worth sitting through, not at midnight on release night for your average person, but it's worth watching once.

    If people want to hate on the Twilight series, hate on how atrocious Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are at acting. Hate on how Taylor Lautner at 12 years old has 6-pack abs and bulging biceps that we all dream of having. Hate on the odd representation of "werewolves" as over sized wolves, instead of bipedal, human-like wolves which is common in the media portrayal of them.

    I just named 3 things to hate in the movie that isn't "vampires don't exist" or "werewolves aren't real." Stop being so blinded by your jealousy because Rob Pattinson wouldn't even be the most attractive caveman in Bedrock, has awkward chest hair, and is a horrible actor who always looks like he's crying when he goes to kiss someone. Girls will swoon over movies. Just like Ryan said, for a lot it's emotional swooning. Not because their man can't "satisfy" them. But often because it's a fantasy world. I don't feel like my girlfriend can't "satisfy" me because she can't train me to be a Jedi, but I still swoon over the thought of crushing people's trachea's with my mind.

    If you want something to hate on for real, hate on me.

    "Hey guess what... AJ doesn't exist! sheesh..."

  3. As a female fan and a Christian woman, I must say that I simply enjoy the story line. I read the books first and found the story to be interesting and fun. I am entirely satisfied with my husband (yup, I said it) and don't feel any sort of longing when I read the books/see the movies. For me, it's simple entertainment, and I do enjoy sci-fi (Harry Potter is brilliant and Star Trek is fabulous).

    The only thing that really bothers me about the story line, is the way Bella feels based on the men in her life. It encourages low-self esteem in young girls.

    AJ your writing is so smart and cracks me up.

  4. I just don't like them because they're friggen covered in glitter...As most of you all know i'm a HUGE sci-fi nerd (really, i challenge anyone else to have the same passion for the 'Dune' series that i have), and I will agree that whatever passion or fantasy that women find in the Twilight series is great...for them. You won't see me publicly bashing Twilight. I don't believe it's for me, so I won't give it MY time. But if other people want to spend their time dabbling in the dark world of vampires that sparkle and werewolves (which are awesome no matter how you cut it) then so be it.