Friday, November 26, 2010

The Joys of the Holidays

It's Thanksgiving weekend people, and you know what that means...your day has (no doubt) been filled with uncreative people saying things like "Happy turkey day!", "What are you thankful for this year?", "Friends, family and health!", and "I'm so stuffed you could milk me!"

I jest, Thanksgiving is a great holiday. The day after Thanksgiving is even better. Think about it- you can sit in your own home all day, you don't need to make any food, you don't need to get dressed up, you don't have to watch a 6 hour parade all morning. It's brilliant! And, if you're like me, you get the day off from work which means you have nothing left to do but resume blogging!

The joys of the holidays.

This is more accurate...
So, in lieu of my wife being at work, (ever seen the Balrog in Lord of the Rings? You know the fire beast Gandalf shouts, "You shall not pass!" at? Striking resemblance to her boss) I'm at home with two cats, a fridge full of leftovers and a mind full of ideas. Let it begin.

...but this one is cuter.
I've decided (at the whining request of Bones) to do one last "Predictions" blog about the Fantasy Football league. I cannot turn down the request of an adoring fan (or bored employee) so lets jump right into it.

The Ducal Crown Thoughts and Predictions Disguised as Awards-

The Verizon Droid Commercials Award- Much like you, when the first Verizon Droid commercials came out I was intrigued, inspired even.  I fancy myself a Verizon guy over AT&T or iPhone or anything else that I can't afford or would cause me to change carriers so I can be trendy. And, much like you, when a Verizon Droid commercial comes on now, I vomit slightly in my mouth and start to bleed from my ears.

I assume these award posts affect you similarly (unless you're actually in the league). So I'll take this award, keep it short and to the point, and try not to force the invention of something called ear tampons (Apologies, Mom and other readers who get uncomfortable at the mention of the word...."ear").

The "I'm dying slowly inside" Award- Creasman, on the wrong side of a 7 game losing streak, is fading fast in the league. Not his involvement, he's been stockpiling players to keep for next year, but in his ability to score more than 80 points a week.

The Easy Transition Award- Speaking of 80 points a week, Perry STILL has not scored between 80-100 points. He's either in the 70s and below or over 100. How does this keep happening?? Seriously? How? Someone call Ripley's, they'll care!

The "Stop me Before I Trade Again!" Award- Bones took a dominant team (comprised of 4 players chosen in the 1st or 2nd rounds of the draft- Andre Johnson, Roddy White, Frank Gore, MJD), the best late round keeper- Ahmad Bradshaw, taken in the 9th me (Eat that Tommy Carrico!), and turned it into a team featuring Nate Burleson as his number two wide receiver. Sure, he added Peyton Manning to his roster (having a sub-par season), but he's also now relying on Nate Burleson week to week. And, using his strategy of "trade all my bench players away" he no longer has anyone serviceable on his bench. We'll see how that affects his playoff run...but being 9-2 and in first place you can pretty much do what you want and we have to respect it.

At least that's what Laker's fan tell me. I can't wait until any other team in the league beats them in the playoffs. Speaking of the Lakers, do you know who I just learned is a Lakers fan?

Everybody. Everybody I talk to about basketball is now a Lakers fan. You guys suck.

The True Colors Award-  Noord's team, which just really isn't all that good, but rode a six game win streak early has now lost his last three games. Call me crazy, but when you're relying on Danny Woodhead, Cedric Benson and Mario Manningham your team has become a lot less threatening. Not that DeAngelo Williams was ever threatening this year. Probably should have tried to trade them earlier in the season...but what the heck do I know?

Everything! Considering I'm on a 4 game win streak, jumped up to 2nd place and am about to win the league!!!....Award.

Here's the rest of the league in short hand-
My team- officially jinxed by...myself. Will lose the rest of my games and miss the playoffs.
Team Ralph- all his marbles on Vick staying healthy and the Vikings benching Favre to let Tavaris Jackson hand off to Adrian Peterson 100 times a game.
Jimmy's Team- If the Steelers have a bad week, so does Jimmy (Big Ben, Hines Ward, Mike Wallace). Of course, they all play Buffalo this week so he should crush his opponent...which is....CRAP! Told you I jinxed myself.
Perry's Team- In position to make a late push with the acquisition of Michael Turner and being forced to finally start Steve "All I Do is Score Touchdowns" Johnson.
Wheel's Team- Got screwed when he traded for Randy Moss a week before his career fell apart.
Sam's Team- Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Tom's Team- Officially not in last place.

More of this guy tomorrow...
A final note, to do with the Washington Redskins and Graham Gano will appear tomorrow. I wrote it today, but realized the points I make are so good that you should really enjoy them all at once. Kinda like Thanksgiving leftovers...just pile them all up in a bowl, pour some gravy on it and grab a spoon! But seriously, if you hate Graham Gano please stay tuned for the blog posting'll be worth the wait.

Have a terrific Black Friday and Thanksgiving weekend. I'll do my best to blog as often as I get the chance.

And it won't all be about Fantasy Football....probably.

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