Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Ducal Crown Rankings - Founders Day Edition

This post in honor of Sigma Phi Epislon's Founder's Day (Nov. 1), and the Christopher Newport Univeristy's VA Pi Chapter's Founder Day (Oct. 31)...and Fantasy Football

Seven years ago, a group of fresh faced college students signed a sheet of paper indicating they were interested in being a part of a fraternity. None of them knew what they were getting into or signing up for. It was a group as eclectic as the crowd at a Wiggles concert featuring Busta Rhymes.

You had athletes, academics, musicians, gays, straights, Butters (both), partiers, Christians, Christians who loved to party, ROTC guys, black, white, Asian, Nader (wherever he’s from), flaccid armed 98-pound weaklings (Ricky May), and…well…Eric Creasman, who is quantifiably un-categorizable. They were uniquely able to grind each other’s gears, rub each other the wrong way, and get in each other’s faces, while disagreeing on every issue and building one of the elite chapters of Sigma Phi Epsilon. Now home to two Buchanan Cup’s, the highest award a chapter of SigEp can achieve.

Seven years later we recruit that same assorted platter of individuals, this time on purpose. Only through diversity do we achieve growth. And, to this day, when they show up to their first recruitment event, they don’t know what they’re signing up for.

I’m proud of my fraternity. I’m proud of the way we break some stereotypes and reinforce others. I’m proud of the type of men we recruit, and, more importantly, the quality of the men we recruit. I’m proud of the unique bond that ties us together, and the stupid disagreements that make us treat each other like, well, real brothers.

I’m proud to have been affected, challenged, and had my thinking changed by people who were nothing like me. I’m proud to have as good a relationship with guys who are four years older than me as I do with guys who are four years younger than me. Because, what brings us together transcends age, race, creed, or poop jokes.

And I’m proud to have a group of guys who will support my writing, my bizarre sense of humor, my deep love of Aaron Rodgers, and forgive me when acting like a self-righteous, pompous donkey.

You’ve taught me you don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person.

But you should. No seriously you guys, you wanna talk about fulfillment in life, JC is the answer. SigEp shouldn’t be the answer, it should be an accent to your life, and amplify your faith and relationships. But that’s just my opinion. It also happens to be right.

Happy Founder’s Day (week), it’s been an honor to have you all in my life and to beat you on the fantasy football field.

Rankings in order of league standings because everyone is too lazy to send power rankings.

10. Gunst 
Poor Bryan. Poor, poor, Bryan. His entire team finally produces and he loses to me by 4 points because of a few garbage time catches by Dez Bryant. Not to make the wound fester, but they announced Beanie Wells would play right before the game started and, had he been placed in Gunst’s lineup, he would have scored 8 more points than Marshawn Lynch (his replacement). Those 8 points would have given Gunst a big win, and made me want to jump off a bridge into a vat of Kris Humphries’ tears.

9. Jimmy
You can’t say the guy gives up. Or that he doesn’t believe in his team. Or that he can throw a football further than Ricky. Especially if rain, left-hands, and kiddie pads are involved.

He certainly doesn’t have a good fantasy football team, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a dangerous one. I think Neil is still in denial that he lost to Jimmy last week when his Eagle’s were on bye. Latest report I heard was that Jimmy was texting pictures of himself in an Eagles’ thong to Neil with “How do you like my Vick?” painted on his chest.

You’re welcome.

8. TJB 
Home to, probably, the most terrifying lineup on paper (Tom Brady, Miles Austin, Adrian Peterson, Lesean McCoy, Jimmy Graham) TJB’s team can do some serious damage...keeping other teams out of the playoffs. Sitting at 3-5 it MIGHT be too late for him. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past him to string together 6 wins and make the playoffs.

Also, I feel like that’s what I write every week about TJB. So I’ll add something new, he has girlish features.

7. Noord
6. Sam 
Funny how the two teams who normally sit in our 9th and 10th spots have crawled out of the depths into 7th and 6th place. Credit to both for putting together some nice trades this season. Noord picked up Fitzpatrick off waivers and traded him for Jennings and Jennings for Fred Jackson, effectively, picking up the #1 fantasy running back off of waivers. Then again, he’s trying to hock Eli Manning and Tony Romo to a bunch of Redskins fans.

Sam, on the other hand, might be our league’s alternate universe’s version of Al Davis. Not only is he alive, but all his seemingly ridiculous trades pan out for the best. Remember when he gave up Rashard Mendenhall for Anquan Boldin? Boldin wins that matchup. Remember when he traded away Andre Johnson (after getting 3 weeks of 15+ points per game out of him) for Philip Rivers, then traded Rivers back for the injured Andre Johnson? I still take Andre in that matchup. Rivers is terrible and Sam is starting Cam Newton every week anyway. What about when he acquired Frank Gore and Victor Cruz by giving up Jeremy Maclin and Pierre Thomas?? I don’t even have to tell you that Sam killed in that trade getting two starters and giving up one.

We were GRILLING this guy for those trades. Now he’s 4-4, tied with Neil and gets Andre Johnson back in a week or two. I’m actually a little scared of his team.

Shows how much we know.

5. Neil
Neil is in a bad way right now. He lost three straight and faces #2 Ricky this week and Sam the following week (presumably when Andre Johnson returns). After Neil inexplicably traded away Lesean McCoy, his team did a great impression of the White House in Independence Day.  All of a sudden he has three of the league’s top WRs (in 2010), who each barely scrape their way to 10 fantasy points a week. Rubbing salt in the wound, Ryan Matthews got himself hurt in that awful Monday Night game and might miss a week.

To be fair, Ricky did warn you 100 times he was injury prone. And, well, you still have Mike Vick.

4. Perry
This week marks a brand new season for Austin. All of his players are healthy and past their bye weeks, so he’s going at full strength the rest of the way. I’m not going to say I’m little scared of Aaron Rodgers, Hakeem Nicks, Darren McFadden, Marques Colston’s re-emergence as a premier WR, LeGarrett Blount returning from injury or the increased number of carries Shonn Greene is getting…but I will say I’m very scared.

3. AJ
Easily the most attractive and egocentric player in the league. What else is there to say?

Oh yea, I have three of the top 5 fantasy WRs on my team thanks to a few trades with Ricky. Granted, I don’t have a second starting RB…but whatever! My WRs!! My WRs!!!

Perry feels me…

2. Ricky 
In leadership we call it “escalation of commitment”. It’s that thing of when you talk yourself so far in to a fantasy player’s value that you can’t justify trading or moving that piece. It’s what Neil has done with Mike Vick. Convinced himself that his keeper value is so important that he ignores the fact that no one is going to trade him a top 10 RB and a top 10 WR for him. Most of us want to win this season.

In Ricky’s case, the raging Twitter argument betwixt himself and Noord, has driven him to boast proudly, “I GUARANTEE Rivers outscores Tony Romo and Eli Manning the rest of the season!” It’s possible. But it’s also possible you’re banking your entire fantasy season on a guy who fumbled the snap on a run play to set up a game winning field goal.

Field general indeed.

1. Creasy 
Apparently I only do blog posts when Creasy is ranked #1. What can I say? I want him to trade me Ray Rice for a ham sandwich and free drinks. Despite his ranking and his record, I’ve actually seen Creasy’s team slip a little bit in points per week. Sure he won this week, but only because he played Perry, the only person in the league to score fewer points than him. Seriously, every other team in the league would have beaten Creasy. Which leads me to repeat something I read on Facebook, “It’s not about how many points your fantasy team scores, but how few your opponent does.”

In conclusion, I love my fraternity, I love my fantasy team, and I love it when you call me Big Poppa.

1 comment:

  1. 1. Love your comments about your brotherhood. You guys truly are an amazing bunch. I am honored to have spent 2 out of 4 college years hanging out and getting to know many of you and am grateful for your brothers who are still my very close/ best friends today... which brings me to number 2.
    2. If you ever give me the mental image of Jimmy in a thong again... I will drive up to your house and work place and steal your computer so you can't post blogs anymore. I was hungry and my appetite for years is now gone. lol.
    Always fun to read AJ! Keep it up!