Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Worst Thing Ever

Every so often you have a conversation with a person that changes everything. It could be a meeting with a college advisor who helps you pick your major, or an interaction with a co-worker that decides your career path, or even a drunk, tranquilizer induced conversation with your Russian girlfriend about a jacuzzi. Mel....

The conversation Michele and I had on the way to Target the other night was one of those conversations. While driving North on Route 28, Michele commented on the incredible amount of traffic headed in the opposite direction. I lamented, "That's gotta be the worst thing ever."

This set us down a interesting road. Michele replied, "Wouldn't the worst thing ever be a Holocaust in America?"

She's much too smart for me. So, I came back in the only way I knew how: nonsense.

What ensued was a list of what we consider to be some of...

The Worst Things Ever:

A - Being forced to listen to an entire Rhianna album

M - Anything that has anything to ever do in anyway with Lady Gaga

A - Your Dr. saying "Ut-oh" during a physical while examining your reproductive parts

M - Farting audibly in a job interview

A - Having no fingers

M - Sending an embarrassing email about your bathroom habits to the wrong person (or, in my opinion, ANY person)

A -Getting a hangnail on all 10 fingers and all 10 toes

M- Staying in a dirty hotel

A-Pooping in your pants so bad it comes up your back (I've seen it happen.....to my nephew. Who is two.)

A - Having Albert Haynesworth on your football team

M - Having dish soap poured on your head

A - Watching the Cowboys win a Super Bowl (This might actually be the winner)

A - Realizing you have no syrup after making waffles/pancakes. (Or, pouring a bowl of cereal and then finding out you have no milk)

M-Having to pee in the car. Like...into a cup. Or...bowl....

A - Opening the internet on your phone instead of opening the notepad so you can document a comical conversation.

Then things got real. As we pulled into our apartment complex after the long drive home, I noticed the trees and said, "The worst thing ever would be to sit in a tree with no pants on."

Without missing a beat, Michele retorted, "Or sitting in a car with AJ when he has gas."

She wins.

I quietly rolled the windows down and aired the car out.

But I still got a picture of her doing this! So you tell me who the real winner is.

What else is the worst ever? Comment below...and you're not allowed to say "This Blog."

1 comment:

  1. Wandering around the grocery store with a two year old on the loose trying to find Velveeta, which is difficult because it's not really a categorizable item. "Processed cheese food" is in a cateogry all it's own!
    ps-tell Michele being in the car with a gassy husband is at the top of any wive's worst ever lists!