I have to get out of the habit of writing posts for people’s birthdays. I did it last week for Ricky and Katie May’s first child, Jackson, and this week it’s Eric Creasman, who...well...acts like a child. At least I’m consistent. Happy birthday Eric.
We’ve completed Week 4 which means, including the pre-season rankings, we’ve not only compiled Power Rankings four times, but we’ve written Power Rankings, discussed Power Rankings, fought over Power Rankings and posted Power Rankings at least four times.
Needless to say, I’m tired of Power Rankings posts. So this week I’m resurrecting one of my favorite gimmicks, ranking teams alongside their NFL doppelganger. This is fun for a few reasons but mostly because I get to call my team the New Orleans Saints and Noord’s team the Seattle Seahawks.
To keep the hardwork of the league from going to waste, I’ll post them in reverse Power Rankings order with last week’s ranking in (parenthesis).
10. (9) Matt Noordhoff – Seattle Seahawks
Coming off an impressive playoff run last year, this team was primed for improvement the following year. Until that year happened. Plagued by quarterback issues (Tavaris or Whitehurst? Rex or Romo!?!) and having their hopes of a productive season from their running backs deflated like a moonbounce full of soccer players, it’ll take a miracle to get this train back on track. Fortunately for the Seahawks, they are surrounded by three other terrible teams in the division. Kind of like Sam, Jimmy and Gunst…the rest of the NFC West.
9. (10) Sam Persons – Arizona Cardinals
These teams entered the year with promise, putting all their hope in freshly acquired new team members. Sam quickly traded away Andre Johnson (when he was good) for Phillip Rivers (also good), and Rashard Mendenhall for Anquan Boldin. He recently re-traded Phillip Rivers (still good) for Andre Johnson (now hurt and missing 4 total weeks), and sent Jeremy Maclin away for Frank Gore. Sam knows his team is hurting and is trying to make whatever moves he can to get value from other teams. Kind of like the Cardinals did sending away Dominique Rogers-Cromartie and two draft picks for Kevin Kolb. A lot of people thought that was too high a price to pay. The Cards think Kolb is the answer and the future. Unfortunately, I’m not sure Kevin Kolb is actually all that good. Same might be said of the player’s Sam has acquired, but we have 10 more (fantasy) weeks to figure that out...too bad Andre Johnson will only play in 6 of them.
8. (7) Jimmy Hostetler – San Francisco 49ers
Every year we think the 49ers are going to be a good team and we ignore the fact that Alex Smith is an awful quarterback. Every year we think Jimmy is going to have a good fantasy team and we ignore the fact that Big Ben is an awful fantasy QB. Will anyone ever learn?
7. (8) Bryan Gunst – St. Louis Rams
The epitome of a ground-and-pound team. Stacked at running back (Foster/Wells/Bradshaw/(and formerly Gore) for Gunst and Steven Jackson for the Rams), these are teams that should be shoving it down your throat (cool it Austin, not like that). Instead, their RBs are constantly injured or not playing and have started relying too heavily on a QB who has only had one good season (Bradford and Freeman). This is a team that should be good. They shouldn’t by relying on weak WRs and a middle of the pack QB…but they are.
6. (5) TJB – Carolina Panthers
Not thought to be much at the beginning of the season, we made them the butt of, perhaps, one too many jokes. Both are relying on rookie play callers so our expectations were understandably low, but we appreciated them showing up every week.
Then…the points started to flow. The yardage! The scores! The resurrecting of Steve Smith’s corpse! It was awesome! Amazing! Unprecedented!!
….and still hasn’t translated into wins. At least not yet.
5. (6) AJ McGraw – New Orleans Saints
As former champs (yup, that’s where I’m starting), this team is always expected to be a contender (my blog, I say what I want). This year, however, it seems like maybe something is missing. Hurt by injuries to key players (Jamaal Charles, Marques Colston) this team is going to have to grind it out to return to championship form. What they both have going for them, however, was the sneaky good acquisition of Darren Sproles. He’s a dynamic player that totally changes the makeup of the team. As an addendum, suck it Neil.
4. (4) Neil Morrissette – Philadelphia Eagles
Are you even a little surprised? Of course not. The self-proclaimed Dream Team is more familiar with self-promotion than winning games. Neil hasn’t had the winning games problem that the Eagles have, but he’s totally nailed the ego-centric self-endorsement reminiscent of Mike Vick’s bumbling band of superstars.
Credit to him for assembling a high scoring team week in and week out. I preach consistency over anything else in Fantasy Football, and he’s been solid through four weeks. With McCoy and Vick on his team, a mouth like Vince Young and the swagger of Andy Reid’s mole remover, Neil fits this bill perfectly.
Clearly, other managers fear Neil's ability to sustain the performance over a full season, hence the ranking at #4. Could be that, or could be Ricky insisting on ranking you 13th each week.
3. (1) Ricky May – Dallas Cowboys
A perennial powerhouse of talent, this is a team that is always expected to be good. Famous for putting together big numbers in the regular season, and infamous for collapsing in the playoffs, they are marked by inconsistent quarterback play and major injury issues at WR. For both, these injuries have shown a startling lack of depth, but as we know, Jerry Jones and Ricky May will stop at nothing to win championships. Even if it requires Ricky to make four trades in one day…he’s dealing more than Pablo Escobar. Blech...not proud of that joke.
2. (2) Eric Creasman – Buffalo Bills/Detroit Lions – A two-fer-one birthday special!
Both known for missing the playoffs for the last 15 years (numbers estimated…but still pretty close), and their general incompetence during the regular season (now I’m just being mean), these teams have all surprised us by the way they came into the season swinging. Now they’re so high scoring they’re almost unstoppable on offense and surprisingly well rounded. It seems like these teams have been building through the draft for years and are all of a sudden really good. The question is, as it has been all year, can they keep it up? So far, so good.
But because it’s your birthday, I’ll rub in one more joke (COOL IT AUSTIN!), can you imagine this team WITH Ray Rice!?!?!
1. (3) Austin Perry – Washington Redskins
What? You think I’d pass up an opportunity to rank the Redskins number one? That, and I just had to give my fellow Hog the home team designation, it only seemed right. Both are currently ranked #1 above other very strong divisional teams (Philly/Neil, and Cowboys/Ricky). I think a lot of people are surprised by their performance thus far with a ragtag group of players. Fortunately, both have the next Joe Montana as their QB (Aaron Rogers and Rex Grossman), so we’re clear in that category.
Unfortunately, each have let us down late in the season in past years, so we’ll have to keep an eye on things as they develop. I, for one, believe Austin will continue his reign of terror over the league and dominate the regular season coasting through the playoffs into the championship game. I’ve been right so far haven’t I? Thinking about it, I should have compared him to the Green Bay Packers cause he’s going to win it all this year!
See you on Twitter where you can tell me where I screwed up, or what team would have been better. The answer is, "Nowhere, sir!"
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