As a free spirited college student I vowed that my life would be different than the droves of pedestrian hominids around me. Get a desk job centered on mundane tasks? Pish! Work for the weekends? Pu-shaw! Live my life by simple routine? As-if!
As a brainwashed, one-year veteran of the working world I cling to my mindless, pay-check producing tasks, day dream about weekend trips to PetSmart and adhere to a structured routine on a recurring schedule.
What? I'm not perfect.
You probably know that the majority of our lives are framed around the events, activities and obligations we subscribe to. And when these commitments fall out of order, become jumbled or mesh together we all react differently. If you're a male, you probably shrug it off and deal with it. If you are a female, you probably react as though this singular instance not adhering to plan is as disruptive and troubling as Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock. "Oh no he did NOT! She's America's sweetheart! I feel for her, she's so precious. I want her to win things and be my mother and best friend. Then we could be like the Gilmore Girls! OMG!!!!"
I kid, I kid.
On the other hand, I have college roommates to thank for organizing my life. When you live with the same anally structured people for multiple years some things rub off. Yikes...that's a sentence I never want to write again.
Let's move on. Something I'll never understand (until I put in 6 minutes of time to do the research), is why television networks never seem to keep their shows on a regimented schedule. Here's what I mean:
In the normal world, we as a people expect that when a new season starts, or 'premiers', it will run until its completion, or 'finale'. What we do not expect is for the show to run new episodes for a few weeks, then take a break and go back to old episodes, then resume new ones, then show re-runs of 'Step by Step' followed by a live results show for something we don't watch, then go back to new episodes. I have a schedule to live by, networks!! Why can't you respect that?!
It's not just that, they don't even let me know the show is a re-run until I'm already tuned in and ready to go on a new episode. Take last night, for example. 'Lost', a show that causes me as much strife as it does joy, was a repeat yet I received no advanced warning. And if, say, I was a person who watched the show while at work the next morning because he watches Biggest Loser (SHUT UP!) on Tuesday nights, this would be a major inconvenience. Of course, I'd never watch TV at work because I'm aware of the negative consequences associated that action...but what if I was!?
Chuck, another show I don't watch while employed but I do watch on Hulu, took a 3 week break just cause! After one episode they got all, "...and Chuck will return in 3 weeks on April 26th!" on me. What's up with that?!
You can't just drop that on me! I have to rework my schedule! I have lunch meetings to work around! What are you doing to me NBC!?
Similarly, "The Office" (probably the best show on television and you can't tell me otherwise) is a roulette game of new episode-old episode. No one knows when NBC will decide to unleash more hilarity on its viewers or cause them to relive old equally-as-funny-but-not-quite-as-fresh comedic genius on the audience.
Look, I know there's a reason to all of this. Networks don't just cancel shows and exhibit extreme disloyalty to its employees or viewers just to make an extra buck.....right? But if you want the research done go to a real news source! No wait! Come back! I'm sorry...I didn't mean that. Stay here...read what I have to say. Its self affirming if you do. And I promise you'll get new friends everyday and we'll put pizza in the vending machines.
Sorry, I'm all....digressy today. I think they have a pill for that.
The point is this, all these decisions need to go through me so I can choose the solutions that best fit my schedule. All television programming schedules, all Washington sport team decisions, and all suggestions for where you're taking me out to lunch. They all need my approval.
Or I'll get all college hippie kid on you and stop showering, sit in trees and play annoying obscure instruments while following you around until you cede your decision.
Don't think I wont.
Disclaimer: I am extremely pleased with my employer and do not engage in any elicit or 'frowned upon' behavior during working hours. At least when I'm not on lunch.