Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fantasy Football Week 6 Awards- Blockbuster Edition!

"He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation." - Michael Scott.

Two things. 1) That's why "The Office" is my favorite show, and 2) That is the tagline to this week's fantasy football awards Blockbuster Edition! We'll theme all the awards around blockbuster movies in honor of the trade that was busting blocks last night at 9:49pm.

Which is exactly where we'll start.

The Titanic Award- Perhaps I'm earning this award because I liken myself to Leo, or maybe I think Wheels is as homely as Kate Winslett. Either way, the highest grossing movie of all time deserves to be associated with the number 1 player in fantasy, Chris Johnson, who was included in this trade between Bryan and myself.

Yesterday on Twitter, @BGunst let it be known that he was willing to trade CJ for two starting players. Cue the flood gates opening. Offers poured in all over, each one of us trying to outbid the other.

Last night it came down to me and Gunst (btw, thats the fourth different name I've referred to him as) trying to work it out. Let's break it down before we move on.

The final deal is as follows:
I give: Ray Rice and Randy Moss
I get: Chris Johnson and Malcolm Floyd

Why I like this trade: I get the best player in the deal (the vital cog in trading), and I get Malcolm Floyd who has potential to start on my team. Also, I've been fed up with Ray Rice not getting enough goal line carries and worry he'll just accumulate yardage again this year (he finished with 4 touchdowns last year, has only 2 so far this year). I also worry about the consistency of Randy Moss. Is this his down year? Will he still be elite when an injured Brett Favre is throwing at him? And I mean "at" not "to". Have you seen Favre throw this year? Has Moss finally lost a step? If Tavaris Jackson starts does Moss give up on the season? Too volatile for me. I like consistency on my team.

***The above paragraph written expressly to make Wheels feel nervous about the trade.***

Why I don't like the trade: John Harbaugh, the Raven's Head Coach, has alluded to Ray Rice getting more goal line touches. Evident by Willis McGahee (the TD not getting a single carry, let alone a goal line run last game. McGahee had 14 TDs last season. Will Rice take over and finish with 12-14 TDs at the year's end? Perhaps.

Is Randy Moss just catching his stride in Minnesota? Had a long TD in the first game and dropped a TD pass last week. Is he the sole redzone target for Favre?

Chris Johnson is either a beast or a dud. I like the trade because his good weeks are over 20 points. I don't like it because his bad weeks are usually less than 5. That's a risk you have to take. However, CJ's final 7 weeks he plays Washington, Houston, Jacksonville, Indy, Houston, Kansas City and Indy again. There are no imposing run defenses on that board. I'm looking forward to a STRONG finish.

That is, of course, if he doesn't break his femur next week.

Interesting Trade Notes: I have been hassling Wheels about mixing his team up and making trades for a while now. Last week he refused to do so, trusting him team. It led to a 2-4 record, and 8th place in the league. After being bashed by Ricky and myself, Gunst said he would trade but not with me. Essentially he said he would take his talents to South Beach elsewhere. I think offering Moss and Rice right off the bat caught his attention enough to change his mind.

The Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Award- The movie was made and fans wish that it wasn't. A trade wasn't made and Ricky wishes that it was. Ricky and Austin were proposing trades back and forth to get Ricky Aaron Rogers and to get Austin a top flight wide receiver and a starting running back. Austin proposed Rogers, Ryan Matthews and Jeremy Maclin for Cutler, Ahmad Bradshaw and Roddy White. Regrettably, Ricky declined and the offer was changed multiple times and, ultimately, no deal was reached. Sunday came, Desean Jackson got hurt, Maclin's value skyrocketed and Ricky re-proposed the trade 100 times. No soup. It's the phantom trade that never happened...but should have if Ricky could pull the trigger.

Oh, in this movie Ricky is the little boy Anakin and Perry is Natalie Portman. I'll make myself Obi-Wan and Creasman can be Qui-Gonn Jin. Noord is Jar-Jar Binks, of course, "Me-sa think you a Lamba Chi Alpha, mister!"

I also like Sam playing the Emperor/Senator Palpatine and Jimmy as Samuel L. Jackson's character. Gunst and Ralph should play C-3PO and R2-D2, respectively. I can see them trolling around the desert hand-in-hand.

So, I guess that leaves Tom. No question in my mind he plays Yoda. Not because he's a wise sage, but because his speech is as hard to figure out as the moisture farming system on Tatooine.

That was far too much fun for me.

The Jurassic Park Award- One of the great movies of our generation. It was a thriller when it came out and is filled with unintentional comedy when you re-watch it. A movie we'd all love to see an updated version of, but know that a re-make would be ruined with unconvincing CGI and bad acting. Neil gets this award for having a team with great players that has struggled to reach a 2-4 record. Ralph may be tempted to make moves on his team and re-make his lineup, but I would say to hold strong and trust that your team will get wins later in the season. No need to rush to mix things up. Unless you want to trade me Adrian Peterson.

The Harry Potter Movie Award- Let's be honest, its the greatest film series of all time (relax, its hyperbole) and you can't pick just one movie to represent this award. Just like you can't pick a team that should be in 3rd place in the league. Currently four teams are tied with a 3-3 record (Sam, Jimmy, Perry and myself). In the same vein as before, let's assign these teams HP movie equivalents.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- Jimmy's team, "B-Button Spin Move", bears striking resemblance to this movie as both are structured around a strong female archetype. In the book it was Dolores Umbridge, a foul-mooded, wench who reigns with an iron fist. In Fantasy Football its Jimmy, also a foul-mooded, wench who has the most points scored against him.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- Sam's team, "Touchdown Jesus", might as well be locked in a Gringott's vault. There is no cracking his team. Trade proposal upon trade proposal upon trade proposal have been sent his way. All met with one response, "You're a wizard, Harry." "Rejected." Who knows what hidden value lies within his team. Maybe a little bit of parseltongue will crack the code.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban- Austin's team, "Pledge Prez Perry", is being held prisoner by his draft. Perry boldly took two rookies, and a bunch of unproven players hoping it would pan out for the best. Among the players? Rookies Jahvid Best and Ryan Matthews, both inconsistent talents. Unproven Shonn Green hasn't panned out well and Jeremy Maclin has been up and down. Hakeem Nicks came up huge and Marques Colston has been a dud. Ryan Torain, picked up after Portis went down, is in his first starting role and still has unproven value.

Maybe next year just draft some dementor's and give us the Kiss of Death. I think that's a better draft strategy.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I and Part II- The final film, split into two parts, obviously resembles my team, "deSPEcable me". The first part of the season, or Part I, led me to a 3-3 record. Part II, which will clearly be the better part of the film, will allow me to finish 10-0, winning the title. I'm almost positive this will happen. At least 10% sure.

The Hancock Award- Will Smith's superhero movie, "Hancock", was deemed a summer blockbuster yet in my opinion was a giant flop. Creasman made a good trade last week with Ricky giving up dud Ronnie Brown and yet-to-be-useful Greg Jennings for Baltimore's go-to guy Anquan Boldin and the injured Pierre Thomas. I thought that if PT came back healthy then Creasman made out better. Yet, the trade flopped as Greg Jennings finally had a huge day with 133 yards and a TD...for Ricky's team.

Soon we'll find a passed out Creasman on a park bench claiming he's really a fantasy super hero....just like every other Wednesday morning.

The Blockbuster Video Store Award For Going Under- This award is slowly headed in Tom's direction. He has a 1-5 record and the lowest point total in the league. Granted, his team was auto-picked by Ricky and me, "Another kicker in the 5th round? Sure!" and he's had some bad luck, but it doesn't look like things will be turning around anytime soon.

Predictions- I predict Ricky will finally lose. Which almost guarantees that he will win....again. I predict I will have regret over my trade with Wheels when Ray Rice tunes up Buffalo's terrible run defense for 150 yards and 2 TDs.

Matchup of the Week will be Sam vs. Perry. Two 3-3 teams face off. I'm as excited as Ron Weasly in a thrift store!

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